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1940

1st Feb 1940

Postmarked COLNE LANCS 8PM 1 Feb 1940 and MALTON YORKSHIRE 4PM 5 FEB 1940
addressed to Lieut. R. Helme, D.W.R., Church House, Norton, Malton. Yorks. Readdressed to Kings Head Hotel, Barnard Castle.

On reverse: I love you so much darling. Clough wants to know, have you any more EGGS. S.W.A.L.K.

This isn’t Kays writing so perhaps a joke from the Boys?

Albert House, Colne.

1st February.

My darling Ronnie,

Once more Colne has become dead and empty, once more the cloud of depression has fallen upon me – and that big ugly lump has come into my throat.

It has been just heavenly having you home for a week, and I shall bless the snow for ever more. At least, I shall bless it if it has not prevented you from reaching Malton safely meanwhile.  Oh dear, oh dear, I wish you were still at home. But if I just go on wishing for you to be here – you will be in another few weeks.

I have spent most of today sorting out Mum’s journalism course. Throwing a lot away, and cutting out the bits I think will be useful to me. It has been a big job, and I have now to stick the bits in a scrap book.

I went to Wonels (*) this afternoon and bought thirteen ounces of wool to make your pullover. I’ve got a nice pattern. Its in the same ply of wool as your other one – only a better quality. Just to let you know what a good quality, it cost me 8/6. Needless to say, I put it on the bill – meantime! I am looking forward to doing it as it comforts me to be making something for you.

I’m afraid I am writing a very bad letter. The wireless is on and Moué is making a din about her knitting. This makes it impossible for me to tell you just how much I love you. In any case words are so inadequate (which I can’t spell) I just want to hug you and kiss you, and nuzzle up against you. Oh for the day when I can nuzzle up to you any time. It’s vile having to wait for you like this when I’d marry you tomorrow. Hasten the day, hasten the day!

I am going to start writing as soon as I get everything straightened out. It is really surprising the amount I have written. Stories I’ve started and never finished. Some of the ideas are really quite good. Wouldn’t it be lovely if I could make some money. Then I’d save it up for us.

This letter isn’t half as nice as it should be – not quarter as nice as I wanted it to be; but somehow I can’t get what I feel out of my system tonight. This damned wireless doesn’t improve matters.

I wish it was last week at this time; but the quicker the days go the sooner the war will be over, and you and I will be able to settle down with your silver salver and cup, my tea set and a whole lot of love.

The Old Girl has been particularly annoying today – although I have hardly seen her, and haven’t addressed a single remark to her. In fact, I haven’t really said much to anyone. I’ve felt too lonely. It’s queer how one can be lonely in a crowd when the person one loves most isn’t there. And yet with you alone I am never never bored – whether you are loving me, talking to me, or just sitting quietly beside me. Dearest boy, you have just stolen the heart right out of me.

I am longing for your phone call. I hope you don’t phone before I – or rather while I’m at the post. I shall run all the way there and back.

Goodbye darling.

All my love,

Yours ever, Kay.

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